Breaking Adam News Network
Urgent Bulletins
Fake breaking news about Adam, reported with unearned confidence and archived for your questionable enjoyment.
7 bulletins recoveredBreaking Adam News Network
Bulletin #007Breaking
Investigation reveals 37 abandoned Figma frames
Lead analyst says: 'These were never meant to see daylight.'
Jan 26, 2026
Bulletin #006Breaking
Local dev swears 'this is the final refactor', archive disagrees
Version history shows 11 identical commits titled 'small fix'.
Jan 24, 2026
Bulletin #005Breaking
Adam creates new subdomain, scientists question his DNS habits
Analysts now tracking 14 unexplained domains orbiting adamzafir.com.
Jan 22, 2026
Bulletin #004Breaking
MRT escalator etiquette officially declared unsalvageable
Commuters report structural damage to their patience.
Jan 20, 2026
Bulletin #003Breaking
Developer attempts minimal redesign, accidentally rebuilds the whole app
Authorities classify the incident as a feature creep disaster.
Jan 19, 2026
Bulletin #002Breaking
SwiftUI preview boots instantly for the first time ever
Witnesses describe the event as 'probably a glitch'.
Jan 18, 2026
Bulletin #001Breaking
Adam spotted reorganizing his folders again, chaos imminent
Experts warn the 'final_final_v9' cycle may restart at any moment.
Jan 16, 2026